Like It's Gonna Work, Anyway
by Ms Amber
Summary: -COMPLETE- After an argument about cats, Al teams up with Envy in order to make Winry dump Ed. Will this succeed? Find out in the story! First FMA FF. Rated T for occasional swearing and a bit of violence. Please R&R!
1. An Evil Plan

**CHAPTER ONE**

**An Evil (But Awesome) Plan! Muahahaha!~**

Central was just like any other normal day; many people, noisy, etc. But what wasn't exactly normal was that Envy sat down on one of the benches on a street, dying of boredom. _'When Father doesn't want me to do anything, then there's barely anything to do but sit and think. How boooooring!' _He thought. The other homunculus were also doing nothing, but the only one enjoying their rest was Sloth, which wasn't really surprising, seeing that all he wanted to do was sleep. Wrath was too busy with his war stuff, while Lust and Gluttony went off to who-knows-where. Greed was…somewhere and so was Pride. _'At least they're doing SOMETHING.'_

After a while of thinking, and thinking some more, Envy thought of the best thought to think of. _'Hmmm…maybe I can do something about that shrimp while I'm free to do anything,' _he suddenly wondered. _'Though I don't know anything that would piss him off though…I need some help…sigh.' _He didn't know of anyone that would help him ruin Edward's life. After all, Gluttony would ask to eat him, Envy didn't think that Lust would help at all, Wrath won't, Pride won't, and Sloth, especially. Greed…nope. Probably thinking about greed and stuff. But Envy wanted to do something, and that was the only thing he thought of that would be fun. "What's a good way to annoy him…?" he wondered out loud.

"Who's 'him' that you're talking about, Envy?"

Startled by the sudden voice, Envy turned around to see the least expecting face to see; Alphonse Elric. The big suit of armour guy. Ed's brother. What was he doing here? "Well, well," Envy sneered, "if it isn't Al." He didn't know what else to say, seeing that he was so bored and too into a way to annoy Ed, so he kept silent and waited for Al's reply.

"You don't have to act so cool, you know," Al retorted. "Anyways, who did you want to annoy? Bro?"

Envy sighed irritably. He couldn't escape this answer as it was WAAY too late. If only he didn't blurt it out so the whole world could practically hear it. "…yeah." That was all he could say. "When you don't have anything to do, don't you feel like annoying someone you REALLY REALLLY REALLLLY hate, seeing that it's the only thing that intrigues you?"

"Well, sometimes, depending on how bored I am." Al looked down at his suit of armour, and Envy wondered why. Perhaps he was worried it'd rust or something. "Sooo…you hate bro THAT much that you want to annoy him to ruin his life? Wow."

"Aren't you gonna say something like, 'Why do you hate my brother?' or 'That's mean' or something similar to that? Aren't you gonna like, defend him or something? You're really weird if you don't…" Envy was only saying that because Al usually hated it when people said bad things about his brother, but it seems like Al didn't really care now.

Al laughed, as though what Envy said was like a joke out of the blue. "Well…sometimes you would hate your siblings too, right? And just then we got into a small quarrel over…over…" Al went silent, looking faintly embarrassed. Envy was curious now; maybe the 'looking at his metallic body' and the 'weird laugh' meant something about the quarrel.

"Over…what?"

"There was a stray cat cold and hungry in an alleyway!" Al confessed, pulling his fists together as though he couldn't believe that Ed didn't know how cute it was. "I couldn't just abandon it! But bro won't let me keep it! He's so cruel and mean and selfish!" Just at that moment a loud _"MEEEOW!~" _came from the suit of armour. Envy somehow noticed Al flush with embarrassment and there were _"purrs" _and _"rrrrips" _soon after coming from Al's suit of armour.

"…uhh…" Envy didn't know what to say. He knew there was a cat in there. _'Sigh…such a childish act, Alphonse.' _"Sooo…what breed is it?"

"It's a grey tabby with blue eyes," Al replied, his eyes shining. "It has dark grey stripes along its flank as well. Here; I'll show you." He opened up his metallic head to reveal the cat. Envy stared at it closely. It looked really ugly, as Envy didn't really take interest in stuff that human's really adored, like that grey tabby. What he didn't like was the fact that the grey tabby kept staring at him in a weird way. Envy felt self-conscious after a while and turned his gaze away from the fluffy grey cat. Al stared at him in a why-did-you-turn-around way. That made Envy feel embarrassed. The fluffy grey thing wouldn't turn its eyes on something else! _'Curse you cat for making me look stupid!'_

"Y'know…" Envy said after a while. "I kind of agree with the shrimp now. That cat is…just not exactly what I'm fond of."

"?" Al looked hurt. "B-b-but this cat is s-sooooooooo cute!" He carried the cat with his hand and started stroking it. Envy was disgusted. What the hell was Al doing? He thought that the suit of armour was more mature than that! Now cats were on the bottom of Envy's 'favourite to non-favourite' list.

"We went off topic," Envy said after a while. He was eager to get to a new topic. Who'd want to talk about cats now, when Envy hated them sooooooooo much? "Now let's get back to my evil plan to annoy that brother of yours! Muahahaha!" He laughed uncontrollably as though it was very funny.

"Umm…Envy? Are you…alright? Because I just think you went a LITTLE bit over the top just then. Perhaps you should just talk about your plan without adding the 'muahahaha' in it." Al released the cat reluctantly and watched it disappear back in the alleyway. Envy grimaced when he noticed Al staring at the cat with 'love' in his eyes. He was about to say something when Al turned his attention back to Envy. "What do you want to say?"

"So, do you have any ideas on how to annoy Ed?" Envy asked. "You can help if you want to, armour guy."

"Well" - Al thought for a moment - "Let me see…he doesn't like milk, he hates to be called shrimp, short, and all those small stuff…"

"Let's focus on the stuff he likes," Envy suggested. "So we can make it what he doesn't like from then on. Get what I mean?"

"Sort of, but I kind of get the point." Al walked back and forth continuously. Envy rolled his eyes impatiently, and ten minutes passed until Al exclaimed, "That's IT!"

"What's 'it'?"

"Bro is fond of Winry! So, if you do something about that, wouldn't Winry dump bro? Then I can tell him to say sorry for not letting me keep the cat and I'll let bro take the blame on me because he'd tell Winry anyway after he knew…right?"

"I like the dumping Ed part, but why say the truth? Just keep it a secret." Envy didn't understand why Al was too soft-hearted. Seriously! Al had good ideas, but then sometimes he adds stuff he shouldn't be adding to the plans as well. Plus, cats were disgusting! Who the heck would ask someone to forgive them because they kept a cat in. Al needed to be _strong on feelings, _not those if-you-forgive-me-I-forgive-you people. Those people were stupid! "I mean, if you did, then wouldn't Ed get really mad at you? Then you'd still be mean, rude and other stuff to each other. AND you'd get into trouble because Ed would take the blame on you and Winry would hit you with a spanner or something."

Al hesitated, and then said slowly, "You have a point there, Envy. I guess I'll be quiet about the plan, otherwise I'd get into huge trouble." Al didn't look like he liked the idea at all, but it was to make Al not to get into trouble. And Envy was glad that one of the 'good-guys' was helping him with his 'evil' plan.

"So, anything else to add or remove to that plan?" asked Envy.

Al nodded. "I have just the thing to ruin their relationship. Okay…you just have to *whisper whisper whisper*…"

**I hope the story met your expectations! Please review!**

**Extras:**

"**Okay…you just have to go up to Ed as Winry and punch him in the face," said Al.**

"**Is THAT your 'awesome' plan?" Envy shrieked. "That's the WORST plan I've EVER heard in my LIFE!"**

**Al looked hurt…again. "Seriously? You don't like my plan?"**

**Envy snorted. "That's the WORST plan I've EVER heard in my LIFE!"**

"**Uhh…you just repeated exactly what you said last time, including the caps," Author (aka Kit-Kat Kitten [aka ME]) pointed out scornfully.**

"**Like hell I care if I repeated it or not!" Envy snarled, glaring at Al. "Plus Author, YOU'RE not part of it, so stay out!"**

"**I'M the one who created this story, Envy," Author pointed out. "So I command you to shut up and listen to Al and his awesome plan."**

**But Al had already run away, crying because Envy did not like his plan to run up to Ed as Winry and punch him in the face.**

**THE END**


	2. A Successful Plan

**CHAPTER TWO**

**A Successful Plan…For A While, Anyway**

"I heard what they said," Envy announced to Al.

It was the day after Al told the Homunculus Envy about his evil – but awesome – plan. Envy had liked the idea a lot and both of them decided to do the plan the next day. Both the 'trouble-makers' were trying to hear what both Ed and Winry were talking about. Unfortunately, if Al went up to them, Ed and Winry could've changed the subject, and Al wouldn't have heard what they were talking about, so Envy decided to do his 'shape-shifting' act to get at least a little bit of what they were chattering about. Al leaned forward, eager to hear what they were talking about. "What did they say?"

"Hmmm…" Envy thought for a moment, and Al was sure that he forgot, but then Envy laughed and said, "They were talking about Father. Ed was blabbering about how he wanted to kill Father and restore his limbs, but Father is infinity times stronger than that midget. Keep on dreaming, Fullmetal shrimp." He laughed again, as though Ed's vow to restore his limbs was a joke. Al felt a surge of anger towards Envy, but then it faltered. After all, bro wouldn't let him keep the cat. _'Revenge to you, bro!' _he thought happily.

"Then Winry said something about Scar and parents murdered and she misses them and blah blah blah…" Envy shrugged. "I don't really getit, but if I'm correct, the Scar guy killed the Fullmetal shrimp's girlfriend's parents…am I right?"

"Well…yes," Al replied slowly. "Sooo…that's it? Nothing else they talked about interesting?"

Envy snorted. "That's all they said. Now, what are we going to do now?"

"Exactly what I told you to do yesterday." Al stared at Envy as though he didn't believe that Envy didn't know what to do. "Were you listening to me yesterday?"

Envy started. "U-uhh…a bit," he offered. "Well…my mind was more on something else, because Homunculi are always busy, so I couldn't really get much, but all I got was that I would shape-shift into-"

"I guess I'll have to explain to you again then, hmmm?" Al cocked his head, and he looked annoyed. Then he glanced past Envy and exclaimed, "Good! They've parted! Now do your stuff, Envy!" He pushed the Homunculi into the streets.

"H-H-HEY!" Envy glared at Al. "You didn't warn me! Now I'm gonna-" he broke off when he saw Ed looking around. _'Oh crap. Quickly shape-shift into Winry. Quickly….quickly…quickly…' _Glaring at Al once more, Envy marched towards Ed, as though he was going to take out his anger towards Al to Ed. "Hey YOU!"

Ed spun around, confused, and then stammered, "W-Winry? I thought you were going to the-"

"The hotel?" Envy shrugged. "Well, I have some news for you, midget."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MIDGET, WINRY?" Ed shouted.

"I'M CALLING **YOU **THE MIDGET, SHRIMP!" Envy flashed back. "Now, do you want to listen or not?"

"I WILL LISTEN," Ed shrieked, "IF YOU STOP CALLING ME **MIDGET **AND **SHRIMP**!"

"Well, you're going to be hearing **those words **more often," Envy hissed. "Now…"

BANG!

The spanner hit directly on Ed's forehead. From the corner of his eye, Envy saw Al give him the thumbs-up, and he was relieved that he could still remember what he had to do. The plan seemed to be working, for Ed was glaring at Winry in amazement, anger, shock and…he looked _confused _too. Envy guessed it was confusing, even for Envy himself, as everything was happening quickly for him too that he could not keep up. But Envy couldn't help but laugh when Ed took the spanner off his head and spit with anger when he saw blood falling down from his forehead, where the injury was. _'I can't believe I get to do this when Ed doesn't even know my REAL identity!' _Envy thought with glee.

"So you think you can defeat Father **that** easily, **midget**?" Envy yelled. "Well, how can you think you can do so when you can't even defeat **ME**? You're **way too small to defeat him, anyway**!" Just at that moment Envy realised he said the wrong thing. Oh well…at least it was making Ed boil. He was like a volcano about to explode. Well, Envy couldn't wait for the lava to pour out.

"**I WILL DEFEAT FATHER AND ALL THE HOMUNCULI!" **Ed declared. **"AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, TOO! LAST TIME YOU SAID THAT YOU HAD FAITH IN ME AND THAT I WILL KILL FATHER, BUT NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT I'M WAY TOO SMALL TO DEFEAT HIM? YOU'VE GOT MOOD SWINGS OR SOMETHING!"**

"Sigh…" Envy shook his head and tutted. "You're just keeping your hopes _too _high. Father must've lots of power or something, seeing that you can't even defeat a Homunculus like _Envy._" He laughed when he heard himself say his own name.

"Envy?" Ed laughed. "I can defeat him, don't worry. He's like an ant crawling on the floor. Once I squash him on the right spot, he's a goner. See how easy it is to defeat him? And he's really easy to spot, seeing that he has green hair and all. And even when he shape-shifts, I'll still be able to pick him out."

At this Envy was about to start rolling on the floor laughing (rofling) when Al showed up. He was relieved, because if Al didn't show up then Envy's true identity would have shown and Envy would never hear the end of it. "I still won't forgive you for your doing, bro," Al told Ed. "I can't believe you yelled at me to throw the cat away back into the cold and dark alleyway! Didn't you see her small, innocent eyes, longing for the food that I could've-"

"Could've **not given her**," Ed finished for his brother. "Look – I know you are very fond of cats, but we can't keep them. You know why, right?"

"Uhh…no."

Envy laughed and hissed at Ed, "Pwned, shrimp."

"_Shuddup, 'kay?" _Ed raised his voice once again, glaring at Envy. "You're not part of this issue, so-"

"I **am **part of this issue, so tell me 'bout it." Envy leaned forward, cracking up as he blinked up at Ed evilly.

"Why you…!" Ed couldn't seem to stand Envy's teases and insults. "I'll beat you up and-"

Envy gasped sarcastically. "You're going to beat a _girl _up? How cruel of you." He laughed again.

"You friggin' damn _bitch!" _Ed hollered. _'Big mistake, midget,' _Envy thought, smiling wickedly when the people around them stared at Ed with shock, anger and disapproval. _'Look what you just did. Now your real girlfriend's gonna be mad when she finds out.'_

"Mommy…" a little girl was shaking her mother's sleeve, asking, "What's a damn bitch?"

"Shush!" the mother hissed, scolding her child. "It's a bad word, so don't use it. If you say it one more time, I'll-"

"You're a damn bitch, mommy," the girl said cheerfully. The mother flushed with embarrassment and ran away, carrying her child with her. Ed was just as embarrassed as the mother, maybe even more. He glared at Envy and whispered angrily, "I'm meeting you in your hotel at 7:00 tonight. You'd better have a good excuse for this." He turned around and ran off into the streets, obviously trying to avoid the peoples' gazes.

"Success!" Al cried once Envy (back into his real form) and the suit of armour had reached back to their 'hiding place', the alleyway. Al wanted to hide here in case he could find some cats to play with. Envy sighed. He didn't want to see another hairy creature again.

"Yes," Envy agreed. "It was a success. But now what? We're just going to let Ed see the real Winry? Or am I going to have to go to the hotel?"

"Your part is done for the moment," Al replied. "And now it's my part. I'm going to go with Ed to Winry's hotel and listen to what they are to say. Then I'm going to be on Ed's side since I'm his bro, and he'd probably thank me for his help. Then Winry dumps Ed…somehow, and then we reveal the secret in the end. But you'd **better **be there, because if it's just me, I'm a goner."

"But if it's both of us, then we're both goners," Envy pointed out.

"But you're a Homunculus," Al protested. "If I die, I'm dead. But for you, you'd still be alive and stuff, because you have like…**X **lives, right?"

Envy sighed irritably. "You think I'm just gonna waste my lives. I've died like…six times already. If I keep dying, I'm gonna get more tired until I finally do die. So don't think that my lives can just be wasted that easily."

"Well…fine." Al shrugged. "Just leave it to me at the moment. At the time that we reveal the secret I'll think of something. See you, it's almost 7:00!" And with that he left, leaving Envy doing nothing. _'Sigh…' _Envy thought boredly. _'Nothing to do…again.'_

**I hope the story met your expectations! Please review!**

'**Nothing to do…again,' Envy thought.**

**But suddenly, Al jumped out of nowhere and screamed, "BOOOOO!"**

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Envy screeched, then stopped. He glared at Al. "What the hell was that for?"**

**Al didn't reply, for he was cracking up. "ROFL! LOL! XD! You should have seen ya face!"**

**Envy hissed, "It's not funny!"**

"**Oh yes it is," Author interrupted. "It was such a laugh!" Author laughed along with Al.**

"**Revenge for not liking my plan to punch Ed in the face as Winry," Al explained between laughing fits.**

"**Looks like you just got PWNED," Author told Envy.**

"**You IDIOTS!" Envy yelled. "That was SOOOO NOT FUNNY! I DON'T GET WHY YOU ARE LAUGHING!"**

"**Because you were going 'aaaah!' like a girl!" Al replied, giggling.**

"**Wait…" Author said suddenly. "What if Envy was a girl?"**

"**When did you get that idea you…[STAND BY]?" Envy shouted.**

"**Let's see…you've got long hair – and MilkShake Kitten (one of my favourite authors) mistook you for a girl," Author said, ignoring Envy's hiss of anger. "You don't have a gender… and-"**

"**YOU'RE GENDER-CONFUSED!" Envy screamed. "HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAA!"**

"…**uhh…" Al stopped laughing. "Is that meant to be funny?"**

"**YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! SO LAUGH WITH ME!"**

"…"

"**Pwned," said Author after a while.**

**THE END**


	3. A Fail Plan

**CHAPTER**** THREE**

**A Fail Plan…What Did You Do, Al?**

Ed was reluctant to go to the hotel, even though he was the one who told Envy (as Winry) to meet him there at 7:00. Both Ed and Al were walking to Winry's room in the hotel, and they were about to knock on the door when: "I can't believe that she was so annoying to me in the public streets!" he told Al.

"Well…" Al hesitated. He had to be careful so that it looked like as if he didn't know much. "You shouldn't have called her a friggin' damn bitch, you know. That's not exactly how you're supposed to talk to a girl, so she did have a right to-"

Ed glared at his brother. "I know that I shouldn't have called her a friggin' damn bitch, but she didn't have to start teasing and insulting me. I was pretty sure she had faith in me to defeat Father when she suddenly, out of who knows where, came running back and started calling me midget and shrimp and all those offensive stuff that I didn't expect to hear after she was really nice to me." _'Oops, Ed, you just said the wrong thing.' _Now Al was sure that Ed had a crush on her. Al started going "Ooooh" and Ed was blushing. Then Ed shook his head from side to side and then rapped on the door. _Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock! Knock! Knock! KNOCK! KNO-_

"OKAAY!" Al could hear Winry's footsteps as she stomped toward the door and opened it. She smiled as she saw the two brothers, but was confused when Ed quickly stepped in and marched towards the sofa and hissed, "Winry, we have to talk." Al could see that Winry looked really confused, but she sat down, and after a few moments of hesitation, Al did as well.

"I can't believe that you-" Ed began.

"Can you just explain to me what is going on?" Winry looked at the two brothers. Al could see confusion clouding her gaze. "I don't get anything about why you look so mad, Ed. Did I say something wrong or mean to you? Is that why you're mad?"

Ed looked dumbfounded, then yelled with anger, "Excuse me? You don't know why I'm **mad at all?** What is with you, Winry? You called me a shrimp and a midget out in **public **and started annoying me. You were leaving to the hotel and you suddenly came back. I had no idea why and-"

"What?" Winry looked shocked. "I didn't do anything…at all! I left for the hotel and then I made myself some dinner to eat. And then you suddenly knocked on the door and I had no idea why, but I just opened the door anyway to see-"

"That is sooo **not true**!" Ed shouted. "You came back and started calling me all those **small **damn words and you were saying that Father was more powerful than me and that I could never defeat him, and then you also added that I couldn't defeat Envy, and I told you that I could but-"

"**I did not say any of those words, neither did I come back to say them!"** Winry snapped. "I have **no idea **what in the damn world you are talking about, so how about you just-"

"I **will not **explain it to you," Ed hissed, "because you already know what I'm talking about. This is **no joke, **Winry, this is actually **serious, **so hurry up and explain why you would do such a thing. I don't want to wait the whole night with you saying that you didn't do anything when you actually did-"

"**I didn't do anything, Ed!" **Winry screamed, filling the whole room with her screeching. She glared at Ed in disgust. "Are you sure it wasn't anyone who was dressing up as me or-"

"Who the hell would dress up as **YOU,** gadget geek?" Ed yelled. "You're way too damn ugly for someone to want to dress up as you-"

"I'm **not ugly!" **Winry gasped. Al was sure that she looked very hurt, but he kept silent, not wanting to disturb them as the argument was pretty amusing. "I can't believe you would say this, Ed. I'm telling you; I'm innocent. I did not say anything bad about you. I did not come back to talk to you after I said I was leaving for the hotel. I especially did not call you a midget-"

"You **DID **call me a midget-"

"I did **NOT **call you-"

"Just admit it that you-"

"I'm telling you, I did-"

"**YOU DID call me a-"**

"How come you don't-"

"Of **course **I don't trust you, because-"

"I can't believe that you think that I called you a-"

"You **did **call me a midget, so just admit it-"

"I will **not admit it** because I did not call you-"

"You're wasting my damn time, so hurry up and confess-"

"I **won't **confess, because I did not-"

"Geez! Just admit it already-"

"**I DID NOT CALL YOU A-"**

"**STOP ARGUING, YOU TWO!" **Al screeched. He couldn't stand it anymore, because all they were going to do was to argue and interrupt each other all night. Both Ed and Winry stopped arguing and stared at Al in shock, as if they forgot that he was in the room at the first place. "Okay bro, explain to her your side of the story, then Winry will say hers. Does this sound fair to both of you?" He didn't wait for an answer and added, "I can't believe that you two could keep arguing-"

"I'll tell her my story, then," Ed interrupted, glaring at Winry, who stared evenly back. "You came back after saying that you were leaving, told me that my hopes for defeating Father were way too high, and said that if I could not defeat Envy, then I couldn't defeat Father, then I got mad and called you a-"

"I said all those things?" Winry looked like she didn't believe it. Al tried not to laugh, since he knew the whole story, and that the arguing couple were going nowhere. "I never came back after leaving to the hotel. I'm pretty sure that someone must have disguised as me and started saying this stuff to you. And I don't even know this Envy guy, so I don't understand what you are talking about-"

"You **do know **who Envy is! Because you told me that I couldn't defeat him, so that meant that I couldn't defeat-"

"But that was _after _I left for the hotel," Winry pointed out. "So then, if I didn't come back after leaving for the hotel, then _someone _must've dressed up as me or something or rather to trick you to come over to me and argue. We should collect the pieces and then find the real reason to-"

"I still don't believe you anyway-"

"Well, you had better, because I am not-"

"You **are **lying, 'kay? Because I never trusted you from the-"

"You **never **trusted me? From the beginning? I'm so offended; how can you-"

"Because you always-"

"I don't want to hear-"

"Well too bad, you **will hear-"**

"Just **listen to me** so I can tell you my side of the-"

"You **already did,** and it's false and untrue and so unbelievable, so that means-"

"Just **LISTEN! **Okay, so-"

"I won't listen to your **bullshit! **So-"

"**SHUT UP ALREADY AND LET ME-"**

"I **WILL NOT **let you explain because it is-"

"It is **NOT-"**

"**HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP INTERUPTING EACH OTHER!" **Al hollered, his metal suit of armour creating echoes. This was just going to have to keep arguing, so Al added, "Now, we'll just find out who is the real culprit for this argument that began at approximately 6:00-"

"Hey…" Ed looked at Al, confused. "How do you know that the argument started at 6:00? I never told you when it – the argument - started."

'_Oh, crap…' _Al thought as both Ed and Winry stared at him suspiciously. _'Sorry, Envy! I just ruined our plan!' _Ed and Winry advanced Al, who backed away until he hit against the wall. Winry was glaring at Al with narrowed eyes whereas Ed was just staring at him with suspicion.

"Now **you're **going to tell me exactly who the culprit for all this is," Ed growled. "And you better speak the truth!"

**I hope the story met your expectations! Please review!**

"**And you better speak the truth!" Ed growled.**

"**Okay…!" Al gasped. "But first…I have cats in my armour, so-"**

"**Meeeow…"**

'**Allll!" Ed groaned. "Great; another cat argument."**

"**Meeeow…"**

"**Seriously, Al!" Winry threw a spanner on Al's head. **

**BANG!**

"**Reeeeooww!"**

"**Don't hurt the kitties!" Al gasped, lifting his head up and taking three blue-grey kittens out.**

"**Meeww~" the kittens meowed.**

**Ed sighed angrily. "Geez, what's with you and cats?"**

"**They're cute!" **

"**But we can't keep any pets, remember? I told you that like…X years ago."**

"**Aww…" Author interrupted them again, looking at the blue-grey kittens.**

"**You're mean and cruel and selfish, bro!" Al cried.**

**Author tutted. "Seriously, Ed," she sighed. "You're so cruel to your own brother. You should keep the kittens. After all, I have one and it's so adorable and it seems that the blue-grey kittens are already attached to Al."**

**Winry shook her head. "You know," she said after a while. "You're not part of this issue."**

"**Yes I am," Author retorted. "After all, I made this all happen, and I can make you do a handstand right now."**

"**No you can't," Winry replied. "I'm not very good with gymnastics."**

"**I'll make you anyway-"**

"**No!"**

**Author writes on a piece of paper, **_**'Winry then did a handstand and Ed began laughing.'**_

"**ZOMG! I'm doing a handstand!" Winry exclaimed.**

**Ed cracked up. "LOL! You look ridiculous!"**

'_**And then Ed decided to do a handstand as well, and then Al started laughing.'**_

"**I'M DOING A HANDSTAND TOOOOO!" Ed screeched.**

"…**hey, that's weird," Author said. "Where's Al? I wrote that he started laughing, but I can't seem to find him."**

**But Al had run away after he called Ed mean and cruel and selfish and he started cracking up in the middle of the streets, where all the people were staring at him weirdly as there was also many meows coming from his suit of armour.**

**THE END**


	4. A Revengeful Plan

_Sorry that I haven't updated in quite a while. I've just been pretty busy. Anyways, enjoy the story!_

_**CHAPTER FOUR**_

_**A Revengeful Plan … Ed Fights Back For Revenge**_

Envy sat on the top of the hotel building where Winry, Ed and Al were. He stared up at the sky and thought boredly, _'Why is Al taking so much time? It's already 9:00, and I haven't seen a single sign of him. Maybe he's-'_ He broke off when he noticed Al approaching him. He looked acutely embarrassed as he fidgeted with his fingers. Now Envy was curious. _'Did something bad happen? Because it sure looks like it.' _"Are you…" Envy began to ask. "…okay? Did something bad happen? Have they found out? Did Winry dump Ed? Did-"

"I am so **SORRY!" **Al squealed. He sounded like a helpless girl. "I told Ed and Winry **everything! **They found out that I knew something and forced me to say **everything! **I am **SO SOOOORRY! Please forgive me! I ruined everything! Ohh…what are we going to do NOW?"**

Envy glared at Al and tutted. He knew trouble would happen if Al did something alone. Well, now that Ed and Winry knew that Envy was also behind this, they were going to have to go to Plan B. But…Envy had no idea what Plan B was! Now they were goners, unless either Envy or Al thought of another plan that would trick Ed and Winry. "Sigh…" he said. "You should have not gone on your own! I should have gone in your huge suit of armour and hear you say everything. Sigh…" he repeated. "But now it's done and gone, so we have to think of another plan. Any ideas in your metallic head?"

To his disappointment, Al shook his head. "I can't think," he replied. "I'm **waay **too depressed and sorry for what happened. Will you forgive-"

"I told you, it's done and gone, so let's think of another plan. Now, stop being depressed and sorry and start thinking about the plan!" Envy hissed. "If you are too guilty, then pay me by thinking up a plan right now!"

At this, Al seemed to have brightened up and he nodded eagerly. "Okay," he said. "Now that I think about it, I have some friends that could help us."

Envy looked at Al curiously, then asked. "What friends?"

"Ninja friends ;)." Came the reply. "From Xing."

"From Xing, huh…" Envy thought for a moment. Then he shuddered. "Oh…you mean that squinty prince and that masked girl and old man with a moustache? The ones who kept killing me continuously? Would they even want to team up with us? Plus, I don't even **want to team up with those killers!"**

"Scared are you?" A glint of amusement crept up in Al's eye. "Scared of Xing ninjas?"

"I'm not afraid!" Envy declared, refusing to look like a frightened chicken. He was a homunculus, for goodness's sake! Homunculi were scared of NOTHIING! Not even afraid of dying continuous times! "Okay, let's speak to those ninjas and squinty prince. I hope that they're not going to turn against us and tell Ed and Winry all this."

Al nodded. "I bet you," he assured Envy, "that they won't, after a few moments of persuading and bargaining. We'll talk to them tomorrow."

'_I hope he's right,' _Envy thought.

* * *

"Yo, Al! ~" Ling said in his sing song voice. He waved his hand happily in the air and stopped abruptly when he saw Envy. "A _homunculus?" _Lan Fan took out her kunai and she aimed it at Envy. She was going to throw it when Al yelled, "Don't throw; he's with me."

Fu stared at Envy with suspicion, but he asked, "Is he on the 'good' side now?"

"I never will," Envy replied, and with that Lan Fan threw her kunai, but it just missed past Envy's ear. He knew that the ninja girl wasn't planning to stab him anyway. "But Al and I thought of a good plan to ruin Ed's life, and seeing that we both thought of the same thing, we teamed up… _temporarily _to succeed that plan. Unfortunately Al ruined the plan, and Ed and Winry found out, so afterwards Al thought that you three could help us. But it doesn't seem like you guys look like you want to do it, so we won't force you-"

"Of course we'll do it!" Ling exclaimed. "But on one condition…" He stopped, obviously waiting for Al to say something.

"What?" Al asked.

"I want to **eeeaaattt~" **Ling replied, collapsing on the floor. Lan Fan gasped, "Master!" and Fu just rolled his eyes, as though all Ling could ever do was fall on the floor and beg for food. Envy sighed impatiently and growled, "Don't you have money or something?"

* * *

"I think they're broke," Al joked, but it was actually a very true joke. It was actually a _fact. _He turned to Ling, who was moaning. "Okay…" he said. "We'll give you something to eat."

"Thanks for the food! ~" Ling cried, bowing his head continuously. There was a pile of plates on the table, and the owner of the restaurant was staring at Ling with shining eyes, obviously saying, _'I'm going to be rich after this guy pays!" _"Now…about the plan…"

"Are you going to pay?" The owner suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and was obviously impatient for them to give out the money.

"Yes," Al replied cheerfully. "Here's the money." He pulled out a wad of money from his underpants. He had withdrawn the money from the bank under his bro's name, as this was the first way to make Ed go 'boooom!' "Keep the change," he added, handing over the money.

"Okayy…" the owner took the money and hurried off and shouted to his workers, "We're **rich! Friggin' damn rich!"**

"Yeeeeahh!" the workers cheered and they all thanked Al, Ling, Lan Fan, Fu and Envy like…**X **times. Ling smiled, but Envy glared at Ling. Could they just get on with the plan? This was taking forever.

"So, what do we do in your plan?" Ling asked.

Al shrugged. "We don't know yet," he replied. "But do you have any suggestions?"

Lan Fan took out a kunai. "This way?" she asked.

"No way!" Al exclaimed. "That's way too dangerous…and plus, this is a 'revenge' plan, not a 'let's-kill-Ed' plan."

"Okay…" Lan Fan replied, putting her kunai away disappointed.

Envy growled, "So now what?"

"Well…" Ling looked thoughtful. "I don't know what to do…you guys should just think up of a plan and we'll follow what you say." There was a rise of agreement from both Lan Fan and Fu, meaning that they both go with the prince.

"We could try the Winry plan again…" Al suggested.

"But the shrimp won't fall for that trick twice," Envy pointed out. "So we have to think of another plan. But I don't know what…"

"Well…if I go talk to Ed and Winry and make them pissed, wouldn't that help too?" Ling said 'carefreely' as though the plan was nothing of interest.

"But what are you going to say?" Envy challenged.

"That's what I don't know…because you two are supposed to tell us what to do, not make us think of a plan!"

"But didn't we tell you earlier that we haven't thought of a plan yet? That's why we need YOU to find out!" Envy sighed irritably. They were going nowhere.

"Or how about," Lan Fan suddenly said, "we ambush the couple and we drag Winry away and block Ed's sight so that he can't see anything, and then Envy could disguise as Winry and then come back to the fighting, and Ed wouldn't know a thing."

"That sounds like a good plan," Al agreed. "But what if Ed gets suspicious?"

"Hmm…" Envy didn't know what to do, and it seemed that no one else knew too, at least until Al exclaimed, "Then we'll just have to tell Envy everything about Winry and Ed together as both childhood and now, so then Ed wouldn't get too suspicious or wary that the Winry standing before him was actually Envy!"

"That' sounds like a great idea!" Ling applauded and sang in a sing-song way. "So…when are we doing the ambush?"

"How about tomorrow?" Envy suggested. "Seeing that we are so eager to start the plan right away…let's do it then."

"That's _perfect!"_ Ling cried. "Then let's go and get ready. I'll meet you here tomorrow at the start of evening."

"Okay." Al and Envy watched Ling and his bodyguards disappear from around the corner. "That's three friends we've finished talking to-"

"Friends?" Envy spat. "They're not my friends!"

Al rolled his eyes. "Fine," he sighed. "Whatever. Now let's talk to Mei Chang."

"Mei…who?"

"Mei Chang," Al repeated. "Also from Xing, but she is rivals with Ling and Lan Fan and Fu. Plus," he added. "She's got a CUUUUTE 3 cat with her!~"

"Urrgh…" Envy groaned, but he followed Al anyway to wherever this 'Mei' was.

* * *

"Yes!" Mei exclaimed, and then added evilly, "I want payback for what he did!"

Al and Envy met Mei in an alleyway, talking with Yoki about something, but Envy wasn't bothered to know what. Al had explained their plan to Mei, who somewhat was eager to do the plan. She explained to Envy that "he ruined her dreams about him by being too short" but Envy didn't understand what that meant until Al told him "she liked him but then after she saw him she was heartbroken…though it's normal for people to be short".

"So tomorrow in a restaurant just two blocks away from here?" Mei asked. Al nodded and she added, "Is anyone else doing this plan besides us?"

Both Al and Envy exchanged a worried glance. Would Mei refuse to participate if they told her that Ling, Lan Fan and Fu were part of the plan as well? But even if she refused, they still had enough ninjas to ambush Ed and Winry anyway. "Well…" Al began.

"Ling, Lan Fan and Fu will be joining us on this ambush," Envy said for Al. Mei gasped and Xiao Mei showed her sharp white teeth in anger, but then Envy added, "Don't you want to change that shrimp's face a little? Wouldn't that be fun then just hanging around here doing absolutely _nothing?_"

"That's not why I'm shocked though…" Mei replied shakily. "It's just…well…"

"What?" Envy was impatient now, but Al's voice was gentle when he asked, "What?"

"I overheard Edward talking to Ling, Lan Fan and Fu just this afternoon," she explained. "They were scheming something, and the only words I could hear were 'revenge on Al' and 'kick some ass' and 'tomorrow night'."

Both Al and Envy exclaimed, "Oh **shit!"**

**_I hope the story met your expectations! Please review_!**

"**Oh shit!" both Al and Envy exclaimed.**

"…**what?" Mei asked.**

"**I totally forgot that I need more oil!" Al cried. "I have to ask Winry for some!"**

"**Are you stupid?" Envy snarled. "Firstly, I only said shit because Ling turned against us, and secondly, Winry and Ed are planning AGAINST you, so if you go and ask Winry for oil, she's not gonna give it to you. Get it?"**

"**NOOOOOO!" Al screamed. "I need oil! Oil! OIL!"**

"**Geez, Al," Author sighed. "You're so random these days."**

**Envy snorted. "Now you know why I don't like this suit of armour?"**

**BANG!**

"**Oww…! Why did you do that for?"**

"**He has a name!" Mei replied angrily. "Sir Alphonse Elric!"**

"…**sir?"**

"**Ooohh…" Author smiled wickedly. "Al and Mei sitting in a tree!~"**

"**Shut up!" Al yelled. "I don't like her at all! I only want to know about alkhestry from her!"**

"**Waaaah!" Mei started crying. **

"**Say sorry immediately, Alphonse!" Author shouted.**

"**No way!"**

"**Just do it!"**

"**I'm not gonna!"**

"**I'LL MAKE YOU DO IT!" Author wrote 'Al says sorry to Mei' on a piece of paper.**

"**Sorry Mei," Al said suddenly. "Sorry for…huh?"**

**Mei was nowhere to be seen, because she ran away crying because she got dumped. (Don't think I did this because I don't like Al and Mei together. I think they're PERFECT together :D)**

_**THE END**_


	5. A Fighting Plan

_Author's Note: I wrote a lot more then I usually wrote in the previous chapters because this is my favourite characters. I put Ling, Lan Fan and Fu on Ed and Winry's side, so they kind of look like bad-guys in this story. But I still think they're cool, okay? And also to add, I don't know if Breda is Second Lieutenant, or something else. If I got it wrong, please tell me before I write the next chapter, okay?_

**CHAPTER**** FIVE**

**A Fighting Plan…Teamwork Success**

It was the day after their meeting with Mei Chang and the other Xingese people. The sun was just setting when Mei Chang and Xiao Mei, the last person/animal to arrive, arrived. She was racing towards the waiting people near the entrance of the restaurant. Ling had complained that he wanted to eat so dearly, but Al said that they would feast after their success. After Al and Envy realised that Ling was on Winry and Ed's team, they decided to play with the game. According to Mei, "Ling, Lan Fan and Fu are planning to turn against you during the battle. So it'd be best that once the ambush begins, you'd have to fight them as well as Winry and Ed."

Of course, both Al and Envy needed more help than just Mei Chang and Xiao Mei, so they decided to visit Paninya, Colonel Mustang, Riza, Barry the Chopper (if they could find him), Denny Brosh and Maria Ross. Envy had suggested that they ask for the other Homunculi to help as well, but the only one who wanted to help was Wrath, which was weird, because Al thought that Wrath wanted to spend time with his wife and son. Paninya told Al that he'd have to pay for her helping, and so Al told her to put it on Ed's tab so Ed could pay at his next visit in the automail shop. Colonel Mustang was eager to join as he wanted to "burn some shrimp". Riza, on the other hand, didn't want to join until Colonel Mustang persuaded her to do so. Both Al and Envy could not find Barry the Chopper, but found Second Lieutenant Breda and Alex Louis Armstrong and they both wanted to join the team straightaway because they didn't want to work all night doing boring stuff. Denny was too busy to join, but Maria wasn't, so she also allied with them as well. "This should be fun," she had said. "But promise me that Edward won't kill me afterwards, because I don't want to die."

The team (known as Team Revenge, because Al thought of that name, seeing that everyone wanted revenge for nothing), after greeting each other and some time chatting, headed off straight to the hotel. The plan was that Maria would lure the couple out of the hotel and into the city, where they could start their fight. Then Envy would sneak up to Winry and capture her. At that time, Ed's sight would've been blocked, and so Envy would have enough time to give Winry to Riza, who would tie her up, and shape-shift into Winry, and then leap back into battle. By that time, Ling, Lan Fan and Fu would've turned against them, so Paninya would use her machine gun in her leg to blast it at them. That would give Riza, Maria and Breda plenty of time to grab them and tie them up. If not, Paninya would blast at them again and again until they finally do, and then they would all retreat with the real Winry and the three Xingese betrayers.

"So I lure Edward and Winry out of the hotel to that alleyway over there?" Maria asked, pointing towards the darkest alleyway closest to the hotel. Al had tried to think of the best place to lure them, but he couldn't think of a place until Greed suggested the quiet alleyway near the hotel. What Al was worried about was that the noise would be too loud and would attract attention, and that was the last thing Team Revenge needed.

Al nodded. "But when we fight, make sure that there isn't too much noise," he warned. "It would lure attention towards us and then it could lead to trouble. And when Ed does his loud shouts and stuff, cover his mouth tightly and make sure that we do that to Winry too." Team Revenge murmured their agreement and Maria hurried into the hotel. Ling was glancing at the hotel, grinning, and Al was certain that Ed and Winry also had plans too. But the rest of Team Revenge knew how to stop those plans, because Al made sure that they came prepared and ready to win. He gave the team a thumbs up, and Envy led the way to the alleyway.

Envy gestured Ling, Lan Fan and Fu towards the walls of the alleyway where it was darkest. It was the most hardest place to fight, because there was no cover. He put them there because they were used to seeing in the dark and it would be easier for them to ambush Ed and Winry. Riza, Breda, Mei Chang and Xiao Mei were positioned behind the bins, and after Maria came she would be hiding there too. Paninya was up in the top of a building, where she would leap down and cover Ed's eyes when Envy grabs Winry. Then she would leap onto the bin and start battling from there. Colonel Mustang and Major Armstrong were seated in front of a green door that led to a house. He had spoken to the owners of the house and told them that there would be a lot of noise tonight. They looked scared, but didn't argue or ask any questions why. Wrath and Al were outside the alleyway, leaning against the wall. Their main goal was to seal the alleyway with alchemy so that Ed couldn't flee. After Envy shape-shifts into Winry, then Al would remove the 'alchemy' wall so that Ed and Envy (as Winry) could escape. Envy himself was with Paninya on the top of the building, but he jumped down first to get Winry. While he jumped, Al would quickly grab Ed and Paninya would cover his eyes. Colonel Mustang, Wrath and Major Armstrong would deal with Ling, Lan Fan and Fu.

"Get ready, Team Revenge," Al announced, a little softly in case Maria had already come out of the hotel with Ed and Winry. Ling and Lan Fan gave him a smile, a little bit too evil, Wrath nodded curtly, Envy smirked, Colonel Mustang and Riza did a salute, Major grinned, Breda, Paninya and Fu did a thumbs up and Mei Chang and Xiao Mei waved at him. Al suddenly remembered that he had to talk to Mei about Alkhestry, because he eagerly wanted to learn Xingese alchemy.

Just then, just faintly in the distance, the team could hear the sound of voices coming from the entrance of the hotel. Al and the others knew that Ed and Winry were coming. "…need to speak privately about this," Maria told them. "This is pretty important. Colonel Mustang and Major Armstrong are here too. Fuhrer Bradley is with us…oh, and Alphonse Elric, your brother." She gestured towards Al, who waved at them. Ed scowled and Winry gave him a disapproving look, but Al didn't mind. He was going to face a lot more of that after the ambush.

"Colonel Mustang and Major Armstrong are in the alleyway," Wrath informed them, pointing towards the alleyway. "Your brother Alphonse Elric will have to seal the alleyway up, because what we have to talk about is really, really dead serious."

Ed was surprised. "Is it _that _serious that you have to seal the alleyway up?" he asked. "No joke?"

Al shook his head. "If you want proof, then go ask Colonel Mustang and Major." He nodded to Maria, who led the way into the alleyway. Ed and Winry glanced at each other, confused, but followed her anyway. Al led the rear and clapped his hands together. A big blue spark appeared from his hands and he pressed them against the floor. Instantly a giant wall blocked the light from outside, and it was totally dark except for a small light far off in the distance. It was still hard to see though, so Al had to feel his way to catch up with Maria and the others. Once he reached them, Maria had already opened the light of the lamp, making it easier to look around.

"So, what is it?" Ed asked as they finally stopped walking. "Why does Winry have to be part of this as well?"

Wrath blinked. "Well…how shall I put it…?"

"The Ishbalans are attacking," Maria explained, lying in each word. "I hear they are going to ambush a town called Youswell in the east." She sighed. "We have sent military troops over, but most have died, and some have spotted Ishbalans over here in Central. It would be good for you if-"

"If we stayed put and hid somewhere?" Ed asked. "That's just lame. Well, Winry should do that, but I should be helping with the fighting…right?" He glanced at Wrath, but he said nothing, only rubbing his eyes as though he was tired. But Al knew he was tired only because he was impatient. He wanted to start the ambush already. Al had the same feeling of impatience as well, but they could only start once Mei Chang threw her kunai in the air. It was a signal that the rest of the team were ready, and that the fighting could start. It seemed that someone wasn't ready for the ambush yet.

Ed was disappointed when the Colonel shook his head. "This is dangerous for kids," he replied, smirking as the words sank in. Ed quivered with anger, but Winry gave him a warning look, showing that he should just act formally and be polite. "Plus, you might want to protect that girlfriend of yours. After all, if something happens-"

"I'm not his girlfriend!" Winry snapped. "I'm just a childhood friend."

"Uh-huh." Colonel Mustang grinned. "Yeah, that's right. You're a childhood friend. Yeah, yeah, I get it now."

"You don't believe me?" Winry looked angry herself. "Well-"

_WHOOSH!_

The kunai flew in the air, and Ed looked up. "What was that?" he wondered out loud.

"Attack!" Envy screeched, and Maria quickly blew out the light from the lamp. Everything was dark, but Team Revenge knew where Ed and Winry were.

Wrath flew headfirst into Ed, knocking him down and giving him a few punches while looking at Ling, Lan Fan and Fu every now and then. Envy grinned when he saw Ed look up and glare at him. "Liar!" he hollered. "There is no such thing as Ishbalans attacking us, right? RIGHT?"

"This is revenge, big brother," Al replied, towering above him. "Sweet, sweet revenge." He grabbed Ed by the waist and began swinging him around and around until Ed's vision was blurry. The main point was that Ed couldn't see much happening, so he wouldn't know that Winry got captured and that Envy replaced her. Mei Chang kept on punching Ed's face saying, "Fake dreams! Fake dreams!" Al was pretty sure that she meant that she couldn't believe it when she first set eyes on him that he was so short. So all her dreams about him were all fake. Al couldn't blame her, because he wanted revenge too.

"OUUUUC-"Ed began to scream, and then it became muffled when Wrath covered his mouth. "Mmm-mmm-mm!"

"You're too loud, Edward Elric," Wrath explained to him. "If you make too much noise, then the whole of Central will wonder what the heck is going on here." He released Ed's mouth and glanced at Ling, who was creeping up on Al. "Hah!" he exclaimed, swinging his blade towards Ling's sword. It snapped in two and Ling glared at Wrath. "What are you doing?" he asked, outraged. "Fighting your own comrade?"

"Don't show such manners to the Young Master," Fu added, and Lan Fan took out her kunai.

"You shouldn't be pointing the sword so dangerously towards Alphonse, Ling Yao," Wrath replied steadily and calmly. He could feel the presence of Colonel Mustang and Major Armstrong behind him. "Have you betrayed us?" He pointed the blade towards Ling's neck, but Ling refused to look stupid.

"Kyaah!" he yelled, kicking Wrath in the stomach. The Homunculus staggered backwards, coughing out blood. Colonel Mustang clicked his fingers and a small blast of fire appeared from right next to Ling. "It seems that I can't make too big fires here," he sighed, disappointed, so instead he kicked Fu, who was rushing towards Ling. Major Armstrong punched the floor and giant spikes came out at Lan Fan. She gasped and leaped backwards, but was a little bit too slow, and received a scratch on her arm. Fortunately for her, she wasn't bleeding, but her mask broke because it fell off her face and crashed into the spikes once they shot up. Wrath grinned and taunted, "You're losing now, Xingese prince." He found a rock on the floor and threw it directly in Ling's face. Even through the dark Wrath seemed to see so well. Ling's cheek was coated in blood, and that made Lan Fan really pissed, for she lashed out at Wrath with her kunai. "Eat this, King Bradley!" she shouted, throwing it at Wrath.

He ducked quickly before it reached him. Major punched Lan Fan in the face and kicked her in the stomach. She gasped in pain and fell to the floor. "Never underestimate us Amestrians," he told the Xingese people. Ling hurried over to Lan Fan and checked her over for injuries. Fu just growled, but he too ran over to Lan Fan. She, fortunately, didn't have any blood on her, but there was quite a few scratches over her face.

"Hahahaha!" Ling looked up to see Mei Chang laughing at them. She approached the Xingese people. "You three really are weak. Ling Yao, you don't deserve the title as Emperor at all!" she spat the last three words out anger. "I'd like to deal with the rest," she added to the Colonel, Major and Wrath. "That is; if I'm allowed to, of course." Wrath nodded and walked towards Ed, who was still struggling to get away from Al. Colonel Mustang and Major Armstrong shrugged and caught up with the Fuhrer. Mei glanced at Ling's cheek. "Ooooh, Ling Yao just got injured," she mocked. "I hope you die soon so that I have one less enemy to worry about."

"I've had enough of your mockery, Mei Chang!" Ling bolted towards her and tried to land a punch on her, but Mei Chang was already prepared for it. Xiao Mei quickly leaped on Ling and bit him on the finger, while Mei Chang landed a few blows on Ling's back. Lan Fan had already stood up and raced towards Mei, Fu just behind him, but with her Xingese alchemy, she transmuted a big fist that flew up in the air, bringing Ling, Lan Fan and Fu with it. They flew right into the air and crashed right into the ground.

"Good job, Mei!" Al called from where he was standing. Mei blushed. So he was watching the whole time? _'Ohh Sir Alphonse!' _she thought lovingly.

Ed was struggling wildly now. "Winry!" he yelled. "Where are you? Ling! Lan Fan! Fu!"

No reply.

There was no reply because Envy had dragged her to where Riza and Fuery were. "Where's Maria?" Envy asked, as he handed Winry over to them. She was struggling madly, and Riza muttered, "Sorry" at the same time that Fuery replied, "She's gone to join the fighting. Maria will come back soon and then I'll send the signal that Paninya can do her part of the battle."

"Okay," Envy answered, and he shape-shifted into Winry. "Geez," he muttered. "The battle is way longer than I thought. Oh well," he sighed, shrugging. "I guess it can't be helped." He walked back out into the fighting and snapped his fingers to Wrath, indicating that he was Envy, not Winry. Wrath nodded and passed the signal on to the others before beating Ed up more. "I seem to be enjoying this," _Wrath_ murmured as he kicked Ed.

"Owww!" Ed complained. "If you're going to kick, kick a little bit softer, will ya?" He looked up and saw Envy. "Winry! Are you okay?" he demanded, as he blocked Wrath's punches. "You don't look injured."

"Did you think that they would hurt a girl?" Envy asked questioningly. "I could sue them for doing that, you know?"

"This is no time for jokes," Ed replied. "Now hurry up and free-"

_BOOOOOM!_

Paninya had used her machine gun.

"Quick!" Maria gasped as she dragged Ling. Riza took hold of Lan Fan, who seemed to have passed out, and Breda had Fu with him. They carried the Xingese people out of the fighting and tied them up quickly. Maria looked through the smoke for Paninya. "No more!" she cried, and she heard Paninya's voice as she replied, "'Kay! Everyone, RETREAT!" All of Team Revenge ran off out of the alleyway and bolted down the street that pointed away from the hotel. The only one who stayed behind was Envy, of course.

Once they were well out of sight, Mei stopped running and began to pant heavily. The rest of them also stopped and gasped for breath as well. Riza dropped Winry to the floor. "Geez," she muttered. "You're too heavy for me…" Winry glared at Riza as she spoke, but said nothing offensive, only asking, "What are you all doing? Why did you ambush us? What's going on?" She turned to look at everyone, who was staring at the ones who were tied up. Al didn't know what to do. Mei came up to Ling, Lan Fan and Fu and demanded, "Why'd you betray us?"

"We just wanted to," Ling replied. He glared at his rival. "I haven't grown any weaker just because I lost to you, okay?"

Mei smirked. "Sure, sure," she told him in a disbelieving way. Ling hissed angrily and Fu spat, but then Al interrupted them. "I think that's enough," he said to Mei. "We should just let them rest. How about you go heal their wounds?" At first, Mei didn't want to treat to her rival's wounds. But seeing that Al wanted her to do it, she would do it for him anyway, seeing that she was totally in love with him. She nodded, and Al left her alone as he walked up to Colonel Mustang and started asking him questions.

"Don't you dare heal me," Lan Fan spat, "because I can do it myself!"

"I'm doing it anyway," Mei replied calmly. "So just stop arguing and let me heal you. It's either healing you or another kick in the ass."

While the Xingese people argued, Riza had explained the ambush to Winry. "We just want revenge," she finished. "Well, at least, most of the team want revenge, anyways. I'm only part of it because the Colonel wanted me to join the ambush, because he wanted to burn some shrimp. We'll release you not long afterwards," she added. "That is, if Al wants you to anyways."

"That's going to be a while afterwards," Al replied evilly. "After I do some torturing."

**I hope the story met your expectations! Please review!**

"**After I do some torturing," Al replied evilly.**

**He approached Winry and started strangling her.**

"**Al!" Riza screamed. "What in the world are you doing?"**

"**I'm torturing her," Al explained. "It's called strangling."**

"**That's not how you treat a girl!" Colonel Mustang hissed. "You're too rough on ladies."**

"**Shut up!" Al cried, and he dropped Winry, who was half-dead.**

"**Stop this at once!" Author commanded, and Al looked up, grinning.**

"**You're going way too far, Al," Mei said. "I mean, I like you and stuff, but this is so bad; treating a girl by strangling her."**

"**He needs to be punished," Author decided. "How should we punish him?"**

"**Strangling him?" Paninya suggested.**

"**Are you stupid?" Wrath hissed. "He's a suit of armour; he can't die!"**

"**Well, he can," Mei put in quietly. "What about the blood seal?"**

"**That's too great for a punishment," Major Armstrong pointed out, showing off his sparkles.**

"**Then we'll just lock him up in a dark room or something," Author said.**

"**That sounds good," Riza and the Colonel replied at the same time.**

"**Okay." Author turned and said, "You shall be…punished?"**

**Al was gone.**

**He was running away, crying for the third time because Mei hurt his feelings.**

**THE END**


	6. A Finishing Plan

_Author's Note: It's taking longer to write chapters because I'm running out of ideas, so don't wonder why I'm taking so long to write a chapter. __I hope you've all enjoyed this story so far because I'm putting a lot of effort in this story than my others. Also, this chapter - to me at least - seems to be short...Oh well. __Plus, I'm nearing the end of this story soon!~ Thanks to all who read this story and more thanks to those who rev__iewed and added this story as their favourites. _

_**CHAPTER SIX**_

_**A Finishing Plan - When It Nears The End**_

"I seriously can't believe this," Envy muttered.

It was about 3 hours after the raid. Envy could hear Ed's noisy snoring from the other bedroom next to him. Finally, after Ed had gone to sleep, Envy could finally flee from the hotel. But how was he going to do it? Was Ed a deep sleeper, or not? Well, Envy had to try it and see what happens. Plus, he had to report to Al and tell him exactly what Ed had told him when they reached the hotel:

"_I can't believe that my stupid brother would actually do that to me!" Ed roared once they reached the hotel._

_Envy nodded. "He's gone too far," he replied. "I don't know what we should do now. Do you think that he will launch another ambush on us?"_

_Ed didn't seem to hear Envy, for he shouted, "That freaking bitch! I'm going to hunt him down and he will feel my wrath!" Ed stomped to the bedroom and shut the door, leaving Envy behind. Now Envy did not know what to do. If he left the hotel immediately, then Ed would notice sooner or later. So then he decided to leave after he was so sure that Ed was asleep and would not hear the creak of the door when Envy left the hotel. He quickly went to whatever he thought was Winry's bedroom and looked through the bookshelf. Perhaps there was some interesting information that he could give Al and the others (aka Team Revenge). After looking through random books, Envy noticed something that looked very interesting. A diary. He quickly took it out of the shelf and began to skim through it. Holy crap; she began this diary when she was a child, when the Ishbal war began. Envy smiled wickedly when he recalled that war, the war he started. Anyways, that wasn't what he was here for; to think about those good memories. After looking through a few pages, Envy found something very shocking. It said:_

"_I don't know why Ed keeps calling me continuously, like, everyday, asking whether I was alright. I mean, I can take care of myself, because I have some useful wrenches for whacking people on the head with (but they're not very heavy…). But it's nice to hear his voice. Anyways, Mr. Garfiel said I could have the day off because there was no work for me to do, so I decided to visit all the other automail shops. I couldn't believe that they had some awesome automail arms and legs that I've never seen before! I'm going to work harder from now on. While looking at the shops, I was instantly reminded of Ed. Well, that was weird, but I did anyway. I guess that's because he always gets his automail damaged and always comes back to me, showing up with a broken arm. After a while, I realised that he mostly gets his arm broken, not his leg. At least that doesn't mean extra work. I think I'm going off topic…hehe. So, after looking around everywhere, I was reminded of Ed. And then it struck me; I'm in love with him! That's all I'm going to say!_

_Winry Rockbell, Age 15"_

_Envy kept reading the second last sentence over and over again. Was Winry really fond of that shrimp? He's too short for anyone to like him! Mei didn't even like him after her first good look at him. That was such a good memory; Envy laughed when he recalled that. Suddenly, he heard Ed call, "Winry, come here." Envy self-consciously exited Winry's room and saw Ed sitting on the couch, still angry. "I'm going to get revenge."_

"_Are…you sure?" Envy asked._

"_What do you mean?" Ed leaned forward. "Unless…you're actually Envy?"_

"_No way!" Envy quickly took out a wrench, and Ed shrank back. Envy stifled a laugh. Duh, he was Envy; the jealous one. "I just think that…what if Al and the others are prepared for us? Then our plan is just a total fail, and then we're done."_

_Ed stared at Envy for a moment, then replied, "…Okay. I kind of get you. But what if we discuss this plan properly? Then we'd probably succeed and then I can murder that brother of mine…literally."_

_Envy sighed. Okay, he'd listen, and tell Al the plan so that they would be prepared. "So…what is your plan?"_

"_I haven't thought of it yet."_

_Envy almost choked. "Then you should have just thought about the plan before you told me that you wanted revenge on Al and about plans."_

"_Whatever…"_

"_Okay…well, it's late now, so I'm going to sleep." That was a total lie, but Envy desperately wanted to get out of the hotel and meet up with Team Revenge. He turned around to go when suddenly…_

_Ed hugged him!_

_Envy was about to faint. He was about to yell "Who the hell do you think you're hugging you *!$ing shrimp!" when he realised that he was shape-shifted as Winry, so he had to keep his mouth shut. Instead, Envy quickly stopped the hug and said, "You can do that another day." He quickly ran towards Winry's bedroom and shut the door. That was sooo embarrassing! Ed just hugged Envy; the one that Ed practically hated the most! "Hurry up and go to sleep, you idiot!" Envy hissed quietly._

Envy quickly left the hotel – glad that Ed had not woken up and wondered what the hell was going on – and ran off to the alleyway, where Al told him to meet them. He quickly shape-shifted back to his old form (when I say old, I don't mean by "age old" but as in, his original form. And also, he has such a bad taste in fashion…sigh). But they weren't there. _'Damn that piece of junk!' _Envy thought. But at that moment, the suit of armour turned up. "Yo Envy," he said cheerfully, even though he looked really bored. "So…what happened in the hotel?"

"Not much," Envy replied. "Though…" And he explained everything that happened. He reported about Ed's anger and the diary entry that Winry wrote, but he didn't want to talk about the fact that Ed hugged him. They were sooo not gay! It was Ed's fault; not Envy's. But in the end, Envy decided to talk about it. "Sooo…uhh…" Envy had no idea how to start. "Well…"

"Hurry up and talk about it!" Al snapped. "I haven't got all night. Well…actually, I do…hehe…"

"Whatever." Envy rolled his eyes. "Because Ed fonds Winry so much…he hugged me."

Al burst out laughing. "You guys are so gay!"

"**WE ARE NOT GAY!"** Envy shrieked. "It's **Ed's **fault; so not mine! It's not like I asked him to, anyway!"

"Ooooh…" Al started to roll on the floor laughing (rofl).

Author: Wait…can a suit of armour roll on the floor?

"It's not funny!"

"Yes it is!"

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"YES IT IS!"

"**SHUT UP YOU TWO!"**

Both Al and Envy turned around to see Maria glaring at both of them. "You're going to wake the whole neighbourhood with all that screeching." She turned to Envy. "It doesn't matter whether you're gay or not." Envy snarled, but Maria ignored him and glared at Al. "And you – talking about more revenge and evilness and cats. Is that all you talk about?"

"Uhh…yeah?"

"Sheesh!"

"Just go to sleep," Envy muttered. "I'm getting sleepy myself. Plus, what's Ed going to do when he finds out that there is no Winry waiting for him in the morning? Wouldn't he feel suspicious and stuff and suddenly know that the one he was talking to was actually Ed? Then what are we going to do? And he wants revenge on us, but I don't know the plan yet, and-"

"You fret and worry too much like an old lady, man," said Maria, laughing. Envy glared at Maria, but she swept on, "We'll have to talk to Al, won't we? Hmm?" she looked at Al expectantly, as though she wanted him to say something. Al fidgeted with his fingers for a while and replied, "Well…I haven't really thought about that…and-"

"I don't want Ed to hug me again!" Envy interrupted Al. "That is the last thing I ever want to see happen…EVER!"

"Okay! But…maybe you should return to the hotel…Only for a while!" he added when Envy was about to land his fist on Al. Even though it probably wasn't going to hurt as much, Al didn't want to waste time fall on the ground, stand up and probably find his head and put it back on.

Envy sighed resignedly. "Fine…" he answered, "But you'll regret this moment, okay?"

"You won't regret it," Al promised. "I'll make sure of that."

Maria stared at Al. "You have a plan?"

"Yes," Al replied. "And a good one too."

**I hope the story met your expectations! Please review!**

"**And a good one too," Al declared.**

"**Then what is it?" Envy demanded. He suddenly felt the urge to you-know-what {Can Homunculi do you-know-what?} so he said, "I need to go."**

"**Wait! Wait! I'm going to tell you!"**

"**Then hurry up" Maria growled.**

"**Okay…" Al stopped talking and looked thoughtful.**

"**There's no time to think!" Author snapped. "Envy needs to _ so let him do his private stuff immediately, okay?"**

"**Wait! Wait! I got-"**

"**You got nothing!"**

"**Geez, I'm going to go to bed," Maria sighed, leaving.**

"**I'll tell him now then so that-"**

"**I just did it." Both Author and Al turned around to see that Envy did his _ on the floor for there was a puddle of _ where he was standing.**

"**THAT IS SO GROSS!" Author shouted. "I'M SO LEAVING! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT MARIA LEFT JUST WHEN YOU HAD TO DO THAT! I SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH HER!"**

"**YUCK!" Al left with Author, leaving Envy alone.**

"**Meh," he said.**

_**THE END**_


	7. A Forgiving Plan

_Author's Note:__ I accidentally realised that I put the automail shop that Winry works at in Central…big mistake. Oh well, just pretend that she does work in Central because I'm not bothered to change it. Thanks to all those who reviewed, because they've given me lots of confidence for this story. This is the very last chapter of Like It's Gonna Work, Anyway. Thank you to all those who have read this story and I hope you enjoy this story! _

**Chapter Seven**

**A Forgiving Plan – We All Say Sorry**

Mei Chang couldn't believe it. "That's…not a…plan…" she whispered quietly. "You're going to…to…"

The day after Envy returned back to reunite with the rest of the team, Al had announced his final plan to Team Revenge. It wasn't a plan that they thought Al would announce. In fact, it was pretty shocking. It wasn't even a plan! Colonel Mustang had his mouth dropped open, Riza and Maria were nodding approval, Wrath was just folding his arms, Breda sighed – with approval or disapproval Al did not know. Paninya smiled and Alex – who was not really listening – was showing off his sparkles…again.

Al nodded. "Yes," he answered. "I mean, we've done enough, right? I might as well go and say sorry to him. After all, we've tortured him enough. I mean, we all wanted revenge – which is how we got the name of Team Revenge – and we got revenge, didn't we? We should all go and apologise."

"Umm…" Colonel Mustang was still shocked, but then he straightened up and replied, "Well, _I'm _not going to apologise to that shrimp. I mean, I'm older than him, and if I say sorry he's going to burst out laughing and torture me to hell. You all can go apologise, but Riza and I are going. Let's go, First Lieutenant." He stood up and was prepared to leave, but then Riza snapped, "I'm staying here. After letting Winry and the three Xingese people go, I feel very guilty. I'm going to apologise to every single one that we've tortured." The Colonel was persuading his partner with all his might, but Riza still protested and finally, after a lot of muttering and curses, he reluctantly sat down next to Riza again.

"Do we all agree on this?" Al asked. The team nodded and then Al added, "But…how _are _we going to apologise? I mean, I don't think going up to the hotel room and saying, 'I'm sorry' is going to work. He's going to think that this is another trick. So…any ideas, _former _Team Revenge?"

There was an awkward silence until Paninya suggested, "Maybe we should ask Winry back and tell her to apologise to Ed on our behalf. We can apologise to the Xingese people easily, seeing that Ling is always happy and stuff. I don't think he really minded that we ties him up temporarily. He was like, 'When are you going to let us free' in a cheerful way and 'I'm huunggrryy…' and-"

"We get the point, Paninya," Maria interrupted. She turned to Al. "I think that's actually a good idea, you know," she said after a while. "That is, if Winry is sure that we are speaking the truth. If she doesn't believe us, then what are we supposed to do?" There was a lot of muttering, and then finally Riza asked, "What if Envy shape-shifts back into Winry and goes into the hotel and tells Ed to come out. Once they're out on the street, Envy will bring Ed over to the automail shop and we'll all say sorry in there?"

Mei Chang nodded. "That sounds like a very good idea. But…isn't Winry already in the hotel with Ed right now?"

Alex shook his head. "I'm pretty sure that she's in the automail shop working right now. Ed shouldn't be in the hotel either though…he could be…hmm…"

"We'll find him somewhere," Envy said after another moment's pause. "I'll go to the hotel right now if you like."

"In the form of Winry," Wrath added. He stood up. "I'm not going to be apologising to the Fullmetal Alchemist," he told the rest of the team. "This is because I am Fuhrer, and if a Fuhrer apologises to a dog of the military, wouldn't that make me look like a total idiot?" Al and Envy slowly nodded and Riza offered, "We could apologise on your behalf…?"

Wrath shook his head. "Just don't," he said. As he was leaving, he turned around and added, "See you all, insects…apart from Envy, of course," he added when Envy hissed with anger as though he thought that Wrath was calling him an insect too, which to all Homunculi, was very, very offensive. Wrath, of Fuhrer King Bradley, left after he spoke those words, leaving the rest of the team just gaping at him.

"Sooo…now what?" Riza asked.

Colonel Mustang shrugged. "Just go already, Envy," he hissed impatiently. "I'm going to apologise quickly and get back to work." Envy stiffened with anger and growled, "I'm not going to follow orders from a petty human."

"We'll see you in the automail shop!" Al waved at Envy and gestured that the rest of the team follow him. Envy just watched them go away with his mouth open. What the hell was that for? They just ditched him! Those cowards! Wanting the 'all-powerful' Homunculus Envy to go and apologise to the shrimp? No freaking way is he going to do that! Oh well, too late, he realised, because they were all depending on him. He quickly made his way to the hotel. _'Hurry up and answer the damn door, shrimp!' _Envy thought as he rapped on the door while shape-shifting into Winry at the same time.

Just when Envy transformed into Winry, Ed opened the door. "Oh," he said surprised, "I thought you were working in the automail shop today."

"Umm…well," Envy didn't know what the hell he was supposed to say. "I need you to come with me, because there's something really important happening there."

Ed narrowed his eyes. "What happened over there that means I have to come?" he asked curiously. Envy sighed impatiently. There was no time for this. He quickly took the hood of Ed's coat and started dragging him out of the hotel and over to the automail shop. Ed was complaining, "Hey! What the hell are you doing? I have legs, so I can walk myself! HEY! HHEEYY!" Envy ignored the shrimp's protests and dragged him until they reached the entrance of the automail shop. He halted and Ed sighed. "Geez," he muttered. He looked at the automail shop. "There's nothing wrong happening with the shop," he reported. Then he stiffened and glared at Winry. "Unless…you're…"

"That's right." Envy sighed and transformed back. "Well, the rest of the gang…a.k.a. Team Revenge or the ones that attacked you last night want to talk to you…and I guess that includes me too. Just don't think that I actually mean what I say, 'kay?"

Ed looked confused. "Huh? What? What do you mean by Team Revenge? You too…what does that mean? What are you going to say?"

"Hi, Edward!" Maria called, and she came out of the automail shop. Ed scowled at Maria. "How dare you trick me from last night! You know that left me with plenty of bruises to think of while I was sleeping!"

Maria folded her arms. "Yeah, well…sorry about that. And I didn't even injure you…Al, Wrath and the Colonel did."

Ed looked dumbfounded. "Oh yeah…" he sighed. "Sorry. But I'm going to beat the **shit **out of that bastard of a Colonel!" He shook his fist threateningly at Maria, but she didn't flinch. "Well, it's not my issue, so there you have it." She was about to leave when she said out loud, "Oh yeah! The rest of the team has got to say sorry to you and something else before I get back to the boring military work!"

Envy groaned. "I wish I _really _didn't have to say sorry to _him." _He glared at Ed, who was laughing in a maniac way. "Say sorry!" he was shouting between fits. "I can't wait until that bastard of a Colonel apologises! I'm going to punish him until he dies in hell!"

"Sorry, Fullmetal," a voice said quickly behind them. Ed and Envy turned around to see the Colonel standing there, scratching his head. He turned to Riza. "Okay," he said, "let's go. I've said my sorry." Riza quickly dragged him back. "_I have _to say sorry too, you know," she reminded him. Colonel Mustang sighed resignedly and he glared at Ed, who was smirking now.

"I'm sorry," Riza apologised, and then she added, "I'm also saying this on Wrath's behalf, even though he does not want me to say that-"

"I heard you," a voice suddenly said. They looked up to see Wrath staring at them. He glanced at Riza with disapproval. "I told you not to say that," he tutted. Riza was shocked. "Stalker!" she accused angrily. Wrath sighed and then he ran off, probably back to the military base. Soon after the event happened, Al and the rest of the team came out and apologised. It turned out that they were apologising to Winry in the automail store. To their surprise, Ling and his bodyguards were there too. Ling was discussing about food the whole time, and he forgave all of the team quickly. Winry, on the other hand, was reluctant to forgive them, but seeing that they really were sorry, she accepted their plead for forgiveness. Lan Fan and Fu didn't really care if they said sorry or not, and they were still in their nice mood towards Al and the others.

Ed stared at all of them evilly. "Sooo…" he said slowly. "Can I punish you guys?"

"Anything!" Mei said, even though she really didn't want to get punished. "Just name it!"

"Well…" Ed hesitated. "Everyone except Al and Envy can be spared," he said after a while. Mei brightened up and Xiao Mei squeaked. "I just want those two." He pointed at the ones he accused. Envy snarled, "What the hell?" and Al put his hands on his 'metal' hips – which is quite a girly act, but anyway – but Ed didn't even notice. He waved the rest of the team off. "You guys can go now," he said kindly. They left happily, and then Ed grinned evilly as he turned back to Al and Envy. "Now you two are going to get it now," he growled, putting his fist up in the air. "Now you two are going to face my wrath!"

**. . .**

**I hope this story met your expectations! Please review and thank you to all who love this story!**

**. . .**

**Let's Meet Envy, Alphonse, Edward and Winry!**

**This is Author speaking here! I'm going to talk to the stars of this story – Envy, Al, Ed and Winry - seeing that it's the end of this story ****Like It's Gonna Work, Anyway****! Now, let's go visit Envy first, seeing that he is my favourite character of all!**

"**So Envy," Author began. "My, aren't you the star of this story!"**

"**Yeah!" Envy snorted. "I got beat up by the shrimp in the end of this story. Why didn't you make it ME who beat up Ed INSTEAD?"**

"**Whatever." Author shrugged and walked up to Al. "Yo, Al!~"**

"**SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE ED BEAT ME UP, RIGHT?" **

"**Uhh…right?"**

"**I HATE YOU! YOU ARE SO CRUEL AND MEAN AND SELFISH!"**

"**Umm..." Author quickly walked away. "Let's go and see Ed and Winry, who are doing their 'social' time together."**

"**Hi, Author!" Winry said happily. "You gave me and Ed a good happy ending! I'm so thankful!"**

"**Uhh…yeah, thanks."**

"**But she ALSO wrote the ambush part as well!" Ed snarled. "I HATE HER!"**

"**OH YEAH!" Winry leaped to her feet. "I HATE YOU NOW!" She pulled out a wrench and threw it at Author.**

…

**So…now that I've met them, it's the end of the story…ouch, that wrench really hurts.**

**THE END**

**WAIT~!**

_I just want to add, thank you to those (AGAIN) who have read this and don' think that my writing career has finished yet! You'll see me again, soon ! ;)_


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